Financial Coaching Before Tying the Knot?
Flowers? Check. Cake? Check. Ring? Check. Financial Coach? Ummm, what?
Considering a common statistic that money problems are claimed by 70% of failed marriages as the reason for the divide, this should not be far off the mark. I believe one of the neatest gifts parents can give their children who are getting married is financial coaching or counseling. It will unify a couple’s money perspective, so they can begin life together with smart financial behavior. My wife and I received traditional pre-marital counseling, but our pastor was brave enough to require homework of us that included forming a budget for our newly married life. And he got a good laugh when we thought we could live on $50 for groceries together in a month. We had a lot to learn and were given the chance to start communicating about it early.
After all, the money itself isn’t the real issue. “It’s always what the money represents: dependency, control, freedom, security, pleasure, self-worth,” says Olivia Mellan, a Washington D.C. therapist, who has written several books on money and relationships. Nevertheless, it stands to reason if couples agree on money issues prior to tying the knot, in doing so they have also addressed those areas that money represents for them.
On the flip side, if a couple cannot agree together on money matters, I strongly suggest that they put off marriage until they are in agreement in this area. “But Victor, we are in love and you are being sooo mean!” Hey, this is tough love, kiddos. If 70% of failed marriages blame money problems, this is no joke. The good news; when unity is achieved in this area, the romance blossoms. It creates communication. Every old married couple I know swears communication is the key to a their healthy marriage.
One last warning: if your fiancé requires a “pre-nup”, it may be time to say “adios.” Hollywood uses it as an insurance policy in case the marriage goes south; Hollywood history proves it’s more like planning their divorce. I’d recommend the wedding be postponed, even cancelled, if asked to sign a prenuptial agreement. Better yet, talk about an agreement requiring financial counseling together before putting on those rings. Don’t marry someone who isn’t ready to trust you.
About Victor Encinas
Victor is a certified financial counselor by Dave Ramsey’s Lampo Group, 212Connection.com Approved Coach, and a Seminar Team member for Dan Miller’s 48 Days to the Work You Love seminars. He enjoys life by clearly and compassionately helping his clients create and achieve their vision to thrive. Victor serves his church by facilitating financial programs and helping others to realize their potential in the financial and career areas of their lives. Victor resides in Phoenix, Arizona with his lovely wife Laura and their 2 adorable children, Jude and Audrey. Victor loves to fly-fish for brown and rainbow trout in the small creeks and high desert lakes of Arizona, as well as, play guitar, eat Japanese food, play baseball with his son, Jude, and read to his daughter Audrey.2 Comments for this entry
Victor Encinas
Thanks, Karen! I know that finances are only one area of life that needs to be looked at when young people are considering marriage, but it seems to be the one that is most over looked.
Karen
Great article Victor! I couldn’t agree more – it’s more than just a wedding day, the goal is a lifelong marriage.